DEUXS EX MACHINA

that's the name of the mech fest i was involved in over the past week or so and also the newsletter which was called ILLUMINATI BOLLETINO,which practically makes no sense cau se the seniors tought of it....... well after the fest,at around half past ten a senior asks me to come to the auditorium to have dinner.so i think the food is in the audi and i go in my pyjamas and bathroom slippers there,little did i know that the food was 8 kms away in a dhaba on the highway.so there i am wit 16 7th semmers,3 5th semmers and i being the only junior..Everyone is adequately dressed with jackets and shoes and they still freeze and there i am in my 3/4ths and frozen feet.....so a witty senior comes up with the phrase "men r frm mars,women frm venus and harish frm pluto"..the interesting fact is that the venerable 7th semers ragged a 5th semmer and left me alone.....
moral of the story:"seniors are not all that bad":"especially the one's i was with"

PPL VISIT AT UR OWN RISK

ppl the above mentioned link is dangerous to visit and pl visit it at ur own risk..the URL is
"kantriboy.blogspot.com"

read bloody.read

As I don’t know the friends too well in col yet, I have come up with these one line descriptions of as many as I can of them. Full descriptions will be given I due time.

Vasu: comfortably gay and waves his left hand with a homosexxuale smile to attract guys...

Shabarish(Shabbu): Horny Horny Horny Horny Horny Horny Horny Horny Horny

Arjun(SK) Shalooooom

Mrinal: Putturistacally (putt-ur-risti-cally) cool

Prashant(teeka tho-li):Neanderthal

Paresh: has been seduced by vasu

Uday(New-day): colossally afraid

Chetan: porno

Aravind: Harihar’s SEX BOMB

Kushal(kushee): who??????????

Ravi pandit: unbelievably naive

Swapnil :chuth,mairandi,gandoo,bong-chaser

Avinash: Nice to pass time with

Anvesh: pachyderm

Shreyas: tumkur’s latest sensation

Sanjith:topless kannadiga

Vidyashankar: 113

Rakshith: Odi maga

Nitesh: Haryana’s own JOGI

Kapil: shortest prick alive

More to follow later…..

IMPORTANT

Ppl important notice.The URL of the blog will be changed to “flyover.blogspot.com” in a month or so.Pl do visit then too.

All I HAVE TO SAY IS:

Param param param param param pa ra WACKOW………..well this article will tell u ppl abt how I got ragged before diwali with the anit raggin squad present..I was dragged unceremoniously outta my bed at around midnight one day and made to walk up and down my corridor giving an impression to my roommate Aravind who was supp to be a prostitute that I was interested in her and he was supposed to lure me in with his “wares”…..I was then to bargain for a fair price till the seniors said it was k and then go with him to the room of mine..

Now for incident no 2…Vasu(gay)..Ani(CSI topper),Swapnil(whore) And myself headed towards the gym one day and I thought it’d be better to stretch on the basketball court before gymmin..Unfortunately there was a horny seventh semmer there waiting to rag us…So he asks me wat sem I think he’s in and I happily say 1^st sem.Then he starts off the session by making us give our bio data’s and then made me and the above mentioned whore the much acclaimed SJCE march…He the made Vasu sing metallica songs and made us head bang to them.and to add insult to injury the floodlights were on and it was bloody raining..We were ordered to make new codes and an anthem for the college…

And this is with the squad existing and the flood lights on. keep hooked for now..

yes jay cee yee

This is my first entry since I joined the hostel. first things first…food’s not bad….although I do face a linguistic problem there…Kannada happens to be the lingua franca there. and I am obviously not well versed in it. so right now it’s crude sign language I’ve resorted to there, among my roommates who hail from Bhadravati and Harihar…Pacts have also been signed with three bangaloreans and a delhite abt the usage of the English language amongst us lest we forget it in the upcoming four years..
Endeavours taken by the above mentioned delhite and me to locate the friggin girls hostel on the campus have failed miserably but we are as of now showing no signs of giving up…..The seniors are waiting for the first month to end and begin the ragging cause there exists an anti ragging squad now which kinda locks us juniors in a cage after ten in the night. A grill has been "erected" on our floor to keep those horny things at bay…..
The twenty-four Internet turned out to be a myth. Cause we are scared to get outta the block in the night and during the day the seniors have labs there….
I also have the distinction of falling down hard on my back on a very wet basketball court while tryin a lay up and also falling off the parapet (pronounced as papparet by me)of a bus stop in the evening on the same day…….
The SJCE code
1) Seniors are always right
2Never question the Seniors
3) Junior girls are for Seniors and Senior Girls are also for Seniors (which leaves me with the junior boys as the only option)
4) Never speak to a Senior unless ur spoken to
5) If any questions refer to rule II
The SJCE salute consists of a person saluting, grasping his "family jewels" with his other hand, and jumping three times in the air shouting SJCE rules. The march cannot be described but only been shown and will be done so the next time we meet on demand…
So until then
Au revoir…..namaskara

JOSH..

today we pass into the realm of Preetam Joshi,who likes callin himself JOSH to add sex appeal to his name which he obviously lacks...This dude lives in kengeri satelite and has been the victim of a prank played recently by a friend and me...The prank consisted of us sms ing him as horny girls on the lookout for boyfriends....He introduced himself as "josh" and claimed he looks like Abhishek Bachchan,a hindi movie star....The look on his face when we broke the news to him in person is recorded on my mobile..Intersted personnel may contact me...This studious person is suspected to have typed random numbers on his mobile and is said to have tried to make friends that way...His antics include pronouncing champagne as cham..pag..ne and vinyas as in..gini..yas....How he does this is still bein researched.He was also the victim of another prank played by me in the 4th grade.There was a bore being dug near his place and i happened to come across cream shaped mud cakes....So i try passing them off as chocolates and our pal actually bites into one of them.As a note i would like to add that he wore braces at that time and had the nickname of "Metal Mouth"....
Result:A sight u'd gladly have missed...braces and mud don't go along very well at all...
Evaluation:Gullible,sensitive,lonely,influencable chap....

It`s LESBO TIME BABY

wat sort of a person would name their debut story that. dunno.I'll tell u.I now present to you a world famous personality and the hugest fan of MARLYN MANSON i mean monroe. Ajay Aravind.The next few posts will deal wit my friends and their flaws.So first on is Ajay.He is of normal height.But hold on that's the only thing normal abt him.He's a little wierd,obsessed wit chains and whips in the bedroom(where i most certainlty hav not been)...Strangles unknown ppl,applied for the groping job in PVR but was turned down cause he gave the manager a touchy sample.Is a big fan of UPPI DADA and his pal SHIVRAJKUMAR...BirthPlaces:Kerala(yuck),Portugal,Bangalore,Goa,Dubai..
Is app connected to the Spanish Monarchy{??????}.
Knows the periodic table byhart and also the capital of Moldova(a country app)....Is widely acknowledged by himself as an expert in the fields of Harry Potter,Lord Of The Rings etc etc....Likes mushrooms and Vinyas.Eccentric Pain in the arse but a good friend...
plus he types on his fone with the dictionary off.
Coming up tommorow is another personality called SUI or GIRIRAJA.
Same Blog,Same Dude.
TILL THEN............

YENNNNNNNNNNNNN

Banni, banni, banni…today we go to the world of Dr.Pranav Karnad…this wannabe doctorate in chemistry, physics, mathematics and constipation as of now studies?? In Jain
College and thinks he’s a stud. Unfortunately ppl think otherwise…His academic achievements include a thesis on the question “1+1=….”and much more..His claim to fame is the fact that he cries, acts and walks like a girl during Mr.Jonny Joseph’s botany classes, otherwise and that he hails frm anantpoorlu in Andhra wat Pradesh…his is the only recorded case of studying hard and failing miserably in exams. There was a typhoon the day he was born cause the apple was just blown into another continent from it’s tree cause his dad, believe it or not ppl is a graduate from IIT, and his mum is a senior vice president in a software mnc…. This has widely lead to the belief that he was adopted…We are awaiting conformation from the parties concerned….funny incidents in his life include his birth and mere existence…………..

Evaluation: Great mimic. potential lesbian. and a genius wit the calculator(he used it to find out the answer to he question discussed in his thesis)

Men In TIGHTS

Am back….well after two hectic days in Google, am jobless enough to blog again. well today I welcome you to the world of AVINASH….this four foot something has been the main cause for me to kiss ass for the past few weeks….Well we think ppl who visit their mom’s place too often are immature,avinash on the other hand is of a totally different league. He goes a step further and visits his grandmom,s place…..He reckons his low self-esteem is the result of us bothering him about his habit of ruining his curtains by crying…His usual attire consists of tight bright “JING JACK”(jeeen ja..ck) T Shirts along with jeans he picked out from the 80,s women Tommy Nofinger collection for spastics….

Well all of us had gone out to watch The Lord of the Rings and it was quite late and we didn’t get a bus .So we decided to take autos. So Natesh and a Sohan are the unfortunate one’s who are to accompany this “louse” back home and on reaching their maisons he claims to have no money. So the other two cough up the money by mortgaging their underwear and somehow manage to pay the auto dude…..Then our pal proudly claims the in the next few days that he had 200 bucks that night with him but he didn’t want to break the notes…..Sohan and Natesh still await his share of money….his other kiriks(kee..ree..csks) include avoiding the whole share of friends and thinking too low of himself and preferring his grand mom’s place to cricket or football..

Evaluation: Good goalkeeper, bad sense of dressing, very low self esteem, and a pain in the right buttock for left handed ppl and a pain in the left one for right handed one’s when he acts wierd….

The LEAR

well now, i am in a difficult position.where do i begin????it's deadzil for heaven's sake.Cal him anything u want and he would'n mind but just try calling him AntiChrist....he's tal,dark and decomposing.He hangs out in the ST JOHN'S MORGUE and is the only person who feels at home in the anatomy room.Well this chap was elected class rape by us and remained so for two years...he has a history of being turned down by girls an is widely used as a dehornifying agent by women worldwide.All u hav to do is look at his picture and ur sex drive goes out the window.He also has the record in our class for the most no of relationships.He is known to sleep around wit the teachers especially Mr.Jimmy to whom he donates a free "physical" everynight.He also was the only guy in the theatre who closed his eyes when kiera knightley got Randy in King Arthur..He is known in th sporting world for his stamina...he is afterall the only Wicketkeeper in history to faint out of dehydration.....He claims he isn straight,and tat he doesn watch porn.....he also claims to have slept wit ShriTej..his innocent neighbour whom he seduced in a negligee when the latter came to hand over some books.his famous sayings are as follows
Wassup DumbFuck
BULL CRAP
BITCH
I LOVE NEHA
GIMME SOME WATER DA MACHA(during any game)
Evaluation:complete whore,loved by teachers,goes to mass regurarly.has a fucking long name"Dominic Denzil Sandeep Berchmans"and is 3000 years old....
PS:also a gullible person who'd give u 100 bucks to booze if u ask him.

why does it happen to me????

was on MG road yesterday with a few friends and we happened to pass by The Deccan Herald Office.Now they have copies of their paper outside and i unfortunately was of the impression that they were complimentary copies...so much against the advice of a friend, i happen to pick one when the security bugger apprehends me and asks me wat the hell i was upto...Damn and i had to say, i thought it was free and to much amusement displayed by my so called "friends", i had to replace the copy...silver lining ,t'was the noon time and lot of ppl didi't witness it..
thank god..............

Eh Why Yaaaaaaaaa???????

now we tread onto uncharted territories.i now present to you ladies and gentlemen "The THIRD sex,The tallest and smartest lesbian,The organism puberty forgot........Vinyaaaasssssss"...acclaimed all over as the illicit lover of PMV,and the indian counterpart of Michael Jackson,this 6foot thing used to reside in bangalore.He is also famous as the auto driver sangha's entertainment liason....his/her hobbies include killing lizards by drowning them,and also memorizing the tv timetable rather than his exam timetable,locking his little sisiter in the room to make her study so it can watch tv etc etc...It is afraid of insects and makes unusual noices when one is thrown on it.But it also happens to have an IQ of over 170!!!!!!! they say that serial killers usually have high IQ'S....well when in school he was the captain of his house and they had a female vice captain.On sports day,it is traditional for the captain to give commands to his house during the march past and on hearing it's voice the counsellor decided the vice captain's voice would be manlier and therefore asked her to give the commands.... HA HA HA.and it is known to travel all over with no less than 200 rupees in it's purse...where does this plethora of cash flow in from????i'll tell. "ATM" aka "AUTORICKSHAW" teller men...he exchanges sexual favours for money and also free "RIDES".....hence the post of entertainment liason was created in his honour...if u come across a 6foot thing wit unusually large feet withe a freaky voice.take my advice and throw a bug on it....
stay tuned...for more...
EVALUATION:belts ppl like hell,would have gotten into IIT if it had studied,tall and horny.could play football for the national women's team and stop locking ur sister in the room or it's the NHRC for u.....

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Continuing wit my version of a hitchhiker’s guide to my circle of friends. we now visit the organism most of us think god created when he was having a hangover and depressed big time…His parents named him Chidanand but he is more aptly named “ANIMAL LOVER”….yes his love for the flora and fauna extend far beyond the usual petting exhibited by normal humans….His other hobbies include lying to such an extent that ppl find it hard to believe even when he tells the truth. Swims really well, and is good at chess and carom…Well we were on a trek recently on a nearby hillock. On reaching the summit, the sane ppl decided to take a break to recharge our batteries for the descent. But chidu(in search of an elephant)took some of the guys on an adventure of his own…After wandering in the semi jungle for about 15 minutes, and getting terribly lost, wat does he do. He gets on a small rock and shouts his lungs out saying “WE ARE NOW OFFICIALY LOST!!!!1”….they were then fortunately rescued by another pal whose description shall be given in the due time….

Evaluation: Good friend, bad sense of humour,weird sense of sexuality

WHY NOOOOOOO??????????

am back…. now we have another friend of mine coming up. He’s someone wit no parental love. That is obvious from the fact when his mom started calling him SUI instead of suhas. He’s known across the fair lands as the guy who says the most obvious things with “I think” as a prefix. For example, we were coming back from a concert,10 of us stuffed in a car, grossly violating every rule written abt overcrowding when the guys think it would be amusing to remind me of my “short”comings..This goes on for abt 15 minutes when finally the Bird (sugas) says “I think they are belting u da”… now he’s also called the bird cause the hairstylist of his doesn like him either…he always makes his hair look like a plume. So we’ve named him GIRIRAJA. An indigenous type of fowl developed right here in Karnataka….Plus sui is also widely acknowledged for the fact that his facial nerves are dead…That’s right ppl…absolutely no expressions on his face whatsoever….some of his famous sayings are as follows

Why Nooooooo

Gandooooo Bulllleee

Bye{told in the girliest way possible}

And OH FUCK[sung wit such devotion it makes yanni look like a guy]

Plus he’s also known in the friend’s circuit as the guy who chacaks {cha..cack..s}

Cause he’s paid an unnaturally high amount of money to get into a college called “KSI WAT” yup no one’s heard of the college…there’s more but there is just too little place…

Overall evaluation: Nice dude, good company but better to make fun of…

PS:he’s knwn as Justin Brown in his call center job and he can’t talk over the fone for over 20 seconds…tom it’s the chance of a guy called chidu.

Get hooked…..

In response to the questions put forward by the soon to be Dr Drool..the IISC incident has been posted and in the third entry dated sept 13th the latter has been discussed in brief...and now back to work..

Well due to the amazin no of requests pouring in(1), i have decided to talk aabt the IISC incident.
This happened in the first of the two miserable years i spent in CHRIST JUNIOR..We were taken to one of the most prestigious institutions in India "The Indian Institue of Science" [pranav wants to work here!!!!!!!!!!]by our mallu class teacher Mischer Jimmy Maathew.Well all this science(?) teacher went to this campus for was to make out with his Ganesh Beedi smokin partner,the small hipped Magesh...He needed the campus,we needed the education.He was denied entry many times before cause the average IQ level dropped in the campus way below the permissable level, every time he and his love bird got randy and decided to use the greens of the campus...So to compensate the drop,he got us along and we(Vinyas alone would have done and he could have joined them but jimmy wasn brainy enough to figure that out) compensated for it.So the guys from IISC have this small corridor set up and a warning saying "LOW CEILING" and unfortunately for me my head didin't reach the ceiling.Even worse Jarin had to be there to witness this and he laughed so much that abnormal amounts of his saliva was wasted...stay glued for more....

respectfully saar..is u boing COCK eyed?i
is wonaring throught out the
phillum thaat u is looking somewhare elshe
when u looking at shri
amitabhji saar...he is acting veary good no.
is u managing to get shari
amitabhji saar ka autographh.i is vey nosy no.
but it is shri amitabhji
saar..that ish why i is asking....plus u is acting
in JANGLE BOY movie
no...my favourite alsho.....i is liking
 your acting very
much....thanking you..
yoursh phaithpully
amough

This is wat sohan and me thought up during
our lunch break in google when we found his name on IMDB.com

thank u chirag..and ur as bad as me or worse and i m just compilmenting you here....don't get me to start on the insults..you'd probably have to visit ur doctor again for sure..btw just heard ur mom celebrated her birthday recently.SO HEMA MAAM H{APPY} BIRTHDAY.. Chirag stop thinking of food for sometime... anyway going on to other embarassing moments of my life..In the prison i was forced to call college for two years,i took up[to impress members of the opposite sex]french as the second language....in one of these classes conducted by a very sweet but huge teacher,the world's tallest and smartest Lesbian aka "VINYAS" decided it would be funny to paste on my back a piece of paper which contained the saying "Kick me cause am short"....now this would have been tolerated if among friends but on that day the teacher gives out our assingments and i go to collect my paper from her..so after collecting my piece of art,which had been marked as unfit to be read by humans,i innocently was returning to my desk giving the teacher a full view of my back.She notices the paper and calls me back and to add insult to injury reads it out to the whole class hitherto confrming her entry into my "TO KILL LIST"

Hello yet again..since i have finished my work for the day and sohan still hasn't thanks to all the breaks he took to run to the cafeteria to get PRINGLES....am blogging now.so continuing with my embarassments in life.here is another one my friends like reminding me about....i was happily thinking abt sushmita sen in skimpy clothes during one of the torturous assemblies in school where our head master who is widely acknowledged as an asshole sings and blows his golden trumpet when i was suddenly awakened from this by the nudging of a friend in a rib i deem precious..(nothin like that i like all my ribs.not marilyn manson u knw).he tells me the blue whale on stage(headmaster)who was giving away awards had called out my name too...The aftereffects of sushmita sen in a bikini still lingererd in my neurons and i happily forgot the fact that i hadn't won anything yo be awared for...so i race away to the stage in front of the whole school only realizing that it was a prank when i was on stage......keep reading for more............

Moving on to more social issues.My love life is non existent as is most of the other bloggers...two proposals of mine have turned out to be total disasters..In the first case the member of the opposite question nearly said YES!!!!!! and i got cold feet and i said believe it or not "APRIL FOOL"... I deserve to get my backside kicked for the rest of my life..anyway in round two where i didn't develop cold feet,i had to actually convince the girl i had a crush on her(sigh)..............and then she walked awy without an answer...this is published in public interest for those who blog regularly....HOW SAD ARE WE......

HELLO ALL!!!!!!!!! well in response to the overwhelming comments(2) i have decided to continue this social service and bring down ppl`s morale.In view of gandhi's(avinash) response all i have to say is UR A *#@$$^$^$%^^$% (just insult urself)..and in wake of sohan's question,i have come to the conclusion that the question is the one Douglas Adams speaks of in his A Hitchiker's Guide TO The Galaxy and we'll probably need a supersuper computer to find the answer....

WELCOME TO THE MAGICAL WORLD OF BENGALOOROOO.tThis happens to be the easier way.The normal way would involve killing annoying personalities like Ajay aravind and twisting Avinash's THIRD nipple for thirty seconds..So consider yourself lucky.This blog will mainly be my source to tell stuff that i would not actually tell you on your face.. SO if you are shocked by wat i post..don't be cause i'll be the same person but now only with an outlet other than yelling at my BATHROOM WALLS.So if u ppl have a problem with that...BALLS TO YOU.SEE i`ve begun already.